I refuse to be perfect: here is why.
Hello everyone.
Lately I have been trying to solve, a simply unsolvable task: which is to be perfect and fulfill all needs, all nooks and crannies, which everyone have been pointing me to. I did not understand it at the time, but I understand it now fully. And I think a lot of people are not understanding this truth: it is impossible to be perfect.
It is impossible to be perfect.
It is impossible to be perfect.
It is impossible to be perfect.
And when I say this phrase, I don’t mean to myself, or others, that it is not possible to be beautiful, enchanting, intelligent, soulful and helpful.
If you truly want to understand this message, please read the energetic transmission below, either aloud, or in your head. Know it is the end of an old paradigm if you choose so, if you have not been blessed yet with the permission to be fully yourself, if you don’t give yourself the permission to be imperfect, just in order to protect yourself and others from your own authentic self.
Repeat after me:
***
I have been trying for way too long, to please other people. I have been competing to fulfill a role which is not mine. I admit, I have tried to fix myself. I admit, I have tried to shut down my truth before. I admit, I have tried to be other than what I am. I admit, I have tried to be perfect.
In this process, I have informed parts of myself, that they should be other.
In this process, I have told other people, that they should be another way, and that they simply are not meant to be themselves.
In this process, I have denied myself my own authentic truth, and blueprint.
I accept, that everyone has a perfect blueprint and soul. I do not need to forcefully intervene to fix it. I accept, that I have strengths, and weaknesses. I accept, that the world, is a perfect ecosystem, in which everyone has a role, an authentic way of being, which is best for the wellbeing of everyone. I accept, that I may need help. I accept that others may fulfill the roles I don’t, or wish I could but are not part of my unique design. I accept, that I am not perfect, that I am not made for everyone, and that I am like no one else, because it is my unique gift. I accept, that denying myself, is lying and does not feel good to my body, to my soul, to others, and the environment around me.
***
We don’t expect the heart to behave like the brain, or the brain to behave like the heart. They have intrinsic roles that can’t be copied. They have a certain energetic frequency that can’t be imitated. They each have their role, they don’t blame each other for not fulfilling their own blueprint and role.
We don’t expect a whale to act like a dog, or a bird to be a worm. Give yourself permission to not be everything to everyone. Because it is wholly impossible to be.
THAT IS WHY WE HAVE EACH OTHER AND ARE ALL PART OF AN ECOSYSTEM. THAT IS WHY IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO BE PERFECT. THAT IS WHY YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE ALONE.
When you accept to be your whole self, you accept that others will be their whole self. There might be disagreement, but there will always be solution because we each recognize each other’s role.
Everything is beauty, everything is perfect when you give yourself permission to fail, to fall short. Because you see that others can help you, when you can’t yourself.
In your body, there isn’t just one atom. You don’t expect that atom to fulfill the role of all atoms and cells in your body. You don’t expect the tree to have the same flexibility and mutability as the sea. They each have their role, and medicine.
Imagine if you expected one of your red blood cell, to purify all of your blood. This is insane. There is teamwork in your blood that you will never fully understand. The blood cells don’t blame each other for the purification someone else did or did not. They understand that every blood cell has a certain energy and capacity, and so they work as a team to purify what they can within the blood. They see the shortcoming of the blood cell, and they don’t blame it, they simply fulfill the role that their awareness gives them.
And so, even if you are the greatest healer, the wonderful boss, the amazing cook, the inspired artist, the best mom. That does not mean you will or should expect yourself to be perfect; because you are part of a team and of an ecosystem, which is bigger than just you. Even if you are the best mom, you will fall short… not because you are not worthy. Not because you are not good, or that you have bad intentions. Or not because you are a bad spiritual person who has ‘’bad thoughts’’. No, you will fall short, because we are in a world of contrast, diversity, amazingness, in an amazing ecosystem in which if you fall; you heal, you are supported and loved.
It might not make sense. But for me it now makes sense. I know firsthand because I have been through excruciating circumstances where I felt hopeless, like it was impossible for me to feel good. I literally thought my body and everyone was against me. I have been the most embodied victim with falling with illness, not trusting my body, not trusting others, not myself. I have lost my voice which I now understand is a gift of mine.
And when I was a victim! Even then I was fulfilling my role, even if I was in pain or others saw me as less than, not confident, not good enough.
And I now have so much compassion for the pain I’ve been through. Because I have been expected myself to be perfect all along. Even when I could simply not help myself. This did not mean that I would stay in a sick state forever, it just meant I was fulfilling my role (and my soul’s learning curve), yet I was expecting myself to be more. Now that my condition has changed, I see that every emotion, every part of the system is as it is for a reason. Everything has a rhythm, everything changes with time.
And that does not mean you should not take responsibility for the things that do come to your awareness. It means that you are fulfilling you role, each time you give attention to what is in front of you.
And so I invite you to see how you are part of a bigger ecosystem. Stop trying to fix yourself, but rather ask yourself what are you here to learn if you are already yourself and perfect as is? Who are you here to be? What do you absolutely love to do? What do you absolutely dislike doing? I am not saying the pieces of the puzzles will all fit perfectly all the time, but I am saying that you can trust yourself doing your part and not feeling bad for being more.
Don’t seek to be more. Be authentically yourself first. That is truly the greatest challenge.
And I am not saying that because I, who is writing, is perfect at being in alignment with myself. It is the greatest challenge to even recognize my truth and speak it, because I have been trying for so long to be ‘’more patient’’ which I am not really good at, ‘’more compassionate’’ which I was already with all the pain I’ve been through, ‘’more good, having good thoughts’’ so I could be ‘’pure’’ (whatever that fucking means), ‘’perfect’’ so I could never deceive anyone or protect others from my truth because I thought it would hurt them.
Well I am telling you myself: I am imperfect and I am fucking glad I am. I am glad I can’t be like you. I am glad I don’t have the same abilities you do. I am glad I am not good at math. I am glad I am not good at learning other languages. Because I can now see the gifts that everyone and each of us have to offer. Which is all different, and perfect as it is.
I love the fact that I can’t meet your every needs. Because I know yourself, or someone else will. And that is not to say we are codependent. It means that simply by being authentically yourself, you help others, and yes sometimes you fulfill their needs (Just like the food you eat comes from the earth, does not mean you are being codependent to the earth). We are not meant to be alone, we are meant to be part of an ecosystem.
Trust yourself. Trust the process. Trust the timing. Trust the joy. Trust the pain. Because it is all informing you of your unique design, that is not going to fulfill all the gaps of everyone, but it will have its impact where needed.
If you have read for that long, thank you for seeing me and this truth my body is now integrating more deeply than ever.
I am still in my process, and I know I will need help, I know I won’t be perfect. And I forgive myself for ever expecting myself to be perfect. All I can do is be myself, and do my best from my abilities, and gifts. Respecting that you, dear reader, have completely unique gifts that I simply fucking don’t have. And that is why we help each other. That is why we respect each of our own intrinsic wisdom.
With love,
Marie-Jeanne